FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
HOW MUCH DOES RELATIONSHIP THERAPY COST? My full fee is €80 for a session lasting an hour and pro rata for longer sessions. Clients who are on a decent salary are expected to pay full fees. If you are under employed or on a low wage I am willing to negotiate a reduced fee in person. For my own economic viability I do not work privately for less than €65 an hour. Lower cost relationship counselling is available in Ennis, Galway and Limerick with ACCORD.
WHAT IS YOUR CANCELLATION POLICY? If you wish to cancel an appointment I require at least a full weeks notice. If you do not attend, or cancel with less than one weeks notice you will be liable for the full cost of the missed session. This policy enables me to find a suitable time and day for our appointment and to reserve this slot for you every week, while at the same time ensuring regularity in my weekly income.
HOW LONG DOES RELATIONSHIP THERAPY TAKE? To do the work required to bring lasting change to the dynamics of your relationship usually takes between 15 and 20 sessions on a weekly basis.
WHY DOES IT TAKE THAT LONG? Usually by the time you decide and both agree to bring your relationship for therapy there is a backlog of problems and often a stuck pattern that repeats and leaves you both feeling dissatisfied and disconnected. Turning this around is a process that requires a willingness from you both to work on yourselves during sessions. It takes some time to feel safe enough in the space, in the process, with me and with your partner to access the deeper places necessary to restructure the relationship.
ARE THERE SITUATIONS WHERE COUPLES THERAPY CAN TAKE LONGER? If there is serious Trauma in either of your backgrounds we may have to slice the risks thinner at times and consequently move slower. If there was a serious rupture of trust in the relationship this may also take extra time as we run a deep repair process in addition to the normal restructuring work. Other issues that can prolong the process include: addictions, competing attachments, neurodiversities (ASD and ADHD), mental health issues, sexual trauma and some psychiatric medications.
IN WHAT SITUATIONS IS COUPLES THERAPY NOT APPROPRIATE? Proceeding with couples therapy is not appropriate in the following situations:
- Mixed agenda couples – where both are not motivated to work on rebuilding the relationship.
- Serious domestic violence/coercive control/intimate partner terrorism.
- Unacknowledged active addiction.
- An ongoing affair.
WHAT ABOUT RELATIONSHIP THERAPY FOR SAME SEX COUPLES? Attachment longings lie deep within all of us regardless of race, ethnicity, gender, and sexual orientation . Whether in a same-sex or heterosexual couple, the yearning, searching, and reaching for an emotionally accessible and responsive partner to assuage distress is a lifelong endeavor. Put simply, the very same basic principles and practices apply to all close couple relationships.
WHAT ABOUT COUPLES WITH DIVERSITY? There are a wide variety of diversities that sometimes make love relationships more challanging, these include (but are not limited to) religious diversity, racial diversity, cultural diversity, neuro-diversity, sexual diversity and gender diversities. All of these diversities can be approached and come-along-side within the scope of Emotionally Focused Therapy – that said, these extra layers can sometimes add to the duration and complexity of the work.
CAN I ATTEND RELATIONSHIP THERAPY WITHOUT MY PARTNER? I am reluctant to see individual clients for relationship therapy – it is difficult to fully understand dynamics of disfunction in a relationship when only seeing one side of it and it is even more difficult to bring about lasting change unless both partners are involved and sharing responsibility.
There is an abundance of individual therapists to help individuals cope with every sort of eventuality, whereas specialised and competent couples therapists are still quite thin on the ground. Because I have a limited number of slots I prefer to keep them for couples.